Traumerei

Vivaldi! Woke up wanting Vivaldi, and ended up drinking coffee.

The madness of denial penetrates all of virtual worlds painstakingly constructed during the dark hours of slumber. I told her it was just an exercise. I told her that I just pretending. I told her that it was not real. 

I was wrong. I disconnect and blast the whole into the ether. 

The insanity of life permeates all reality sprouting of the interstitials of the day without a beginning and the night without an end. I told him that I didn’t want to miss the chance. I told him that it was all real. 

I called Immanuel. He disconnected. 

To wade

Ravenous! Ravenous. It is just a feeling dressed onto a word. It is just a state of paralysis. It is just the constant struggle of survival. It is all about still not knowing how to breathe, and it is still all about the denial of pleasure.

I wade and waddle in the incongruence of this planet and its inebriated inhabitants. Too many of them, too many pieces of incoherent information, too much linearity: no knowledge and no hope of understanding. 

It breaks me each and every time. It does. I wade and waddle, and reach to fix the broken. I fail often.

To walk

I am tired of wishing. I am tired of running away. I am tired.